Her clothing line isn't sold in retail stores, but like I said, it's direct sales. Which means, her products are sold by women selling to their friends- at home parties, sort of like Pampered Chef, Silpada, or Tupperware.
That sounds totally fun to lots of women. Lots of women love to shop with their girlfriends. Also, lots of women love getting together with a large group of their friends for drinks and snacks. Additionally, lots of women love throwing a good party. But for me, no. And no. And finally, no.
But my friend and I haven't seen each other since junior high school, so how was she to know what a little hermit crab I am as a grown woman? She asked me if I would be interested in hosting a party here in Dallas in support of her clothing line. As supportive as I longed to be for her, I just knew hosting a party would not be a way I could feel comfortable helping her out.
The social pressure of asking people to something I'm hosting, and expecting them to show gives me a terrible ache in the pit of my stomach. Even for me to show up to a large event someone else is hosting, hurts my stomach and give me a severe headache.
It would be great if I liked doing this kind of stuff. I could host not only a party for my friend's company, I could have a trunk show for my own jewelry business, Resparkable Vintage. And then, I could ask friend's to host a party. And so on, and so on, and so on! Oh, how I wish that sounded like fun and I could get other people enthused about it too!
All of this is not to say I don't enjoy socializing with my lady friends! But I am so much better in small group situations. People don't even realize the degree of my social anxiety, because in small group circumstances, I'm fine. (And by small, I mean 5 or less. Even better, one on one.)
I was so nervous my friend would take my aversion to hosting a party the wrong way. It's sometimes hard to understand someone's point of view when it's so different than your own. But she was totally cool about it. She just thanked me for my honesty and asked me to let her know if I knew of anyone wanting to make some extra cash and get involved with her company. (So, hey! If that's sounds like you, let me know- Or visit her site and find out more here!)
Something I've learned as I've grown older, if you can just be honest and tell people where you're coming from, they're usually pretty cool about it. The worst thing to do is to make up some b.s. excuse, which is the route the younger version of myself might have taken. Just sayin'...
7 comments:
I'm a small party gal too, Kerri. You HAVE to read the book I'm reading: Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Maybe you are or are not an introvert but I'm learning a lot about why I only like small parties and that it's okay : )
Melissa, I did read that book!! B/c yes, I am an introvert too. I know it's ok, but was trying to convince my husband that i am not a freak. He is an extrovert so we are recharged quite differently and I think it bugs him the way I am. HE needs to read the book! :)
Sometimes you write things that I could've written myself. Count me in the small-group or one-on-one crowd! This just happened the other day...I go to happy hour from time to time with a small group of people from work. When we were getting together recently, someone floated the idea of expanding the group...it would've included people I don't know that well, and there goes the knot in my stomach. Thankfully the idea was voted down. :)
I am so glad I am not alone in my small group mentality! :) thanks, girls!
Kerri. I just read this for the first time. This is a lovely post. This goes both ways too. Sometimes our Independent Stylists (sales reps) are afraid to ask for bookings. When you said, "No, thanks," I understood that you weren't rejecting me. You were honest about your own comfort and you supported me in another way, by writing this post and sharing the opportunity with your friends.I love that! Thanks and eventually we will see each other in person again! xoxo
Thanks, Diane! :)
Hi Kerri,
Great post! I am a stylist here in Dallas with Diane's company and ironically, I too, prefer a small crowd. Even in large settings, I tend to stick with one or two. As a stylist who has to ask people to host, I too, appreciate an honest direct answer. My friends are my friends, regardless of how they participate in my business :)
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