Zoe and Scout

Yesterday, our sweet dogs of 15 years, Zoe and Scout went out of this world the same way they came into it--- together.  I use to wonder about which one of them we would lose first.  I worried about it, because they had been together their entire lives and I just didn't know how one could handle losing the company of the other.  As it turns out, it was a worry I need not have wasted my time on.

The hardest part of all of this is now behind us.  But still, my heart aches in missing them.
 
I obviously don't know what happens after a dog dies.  But I know if there is a heaven, they're in it.  And if there's any chance of reincarnation, I hope they'll make their way back into our lives as soon as possible. 

But until we meet again, we've got loads of great memories that I'll replay in my mind for the rest of my life.

Thank you, to our beloved sweet companions of the last 15 years, Zoe and Scout.  We miss you.

i knew that winter was coming and you couldn't take the cold
someday got here too quickly, i wish i'd bought it before it sold

   (chorus)  i wish you didn't have to go
i wish the hands of time would slow
i wish that we could do it all again
and we would never, not ever
get to the end

i know the way this will go
i have played it out in my mind
and i've worked thru all of the endings
and my heart it breaks everytime

-chorus-

oh where did the time go?
and where will all this love go?
cuz every minute of every day love was in it in every way...

-chorus-

Lean

This week has been a tough one.  Our beloved poochies, Zoe and Scout, who are both 15 years of age, have been severely under the weather and we began the week with bad news from our vet.  Which I don't even want to talk about here, other than just to say, getting old sucks.  And knowing the days are numbered doesn't bring me joy.

I've just allowed myself to wallow in it all. I haven't gotten much work done.  I haven't cooked but one meal all week.  I haven't read much because I can't focus for long enough to care.  I've just done a lot of laying around with Zoe and Scout.  I haven't worn make up all week, because tears come out of my eyes at both expected and unexpected moments.  My face is just puffy.  Puffy with love for Zoe and Scout.

My husband is just as sad about all of this as I am.  He's loved these girls for 15 years, just as I have.  There is something oddly comforting about sharing sadness with someone you love. 

I am thankful.  So thankful that for now, our girls our resting on their pillows here at home, peacefully.  Thankful that I'm not alone in my sadness, and that I've got someone strong to lean on.

  

My Romance

This has long been my favorite love song.  I'm especially fond of James Taylor's version.  Every simple line in this song rings so true.  So I decided to sing my own version of it today for my husband.

Please pardon my mush, but it is Valentine's Day weekend after all.  Have a happy one...

My romance doesn't need to have a moon in the sky
My romance doesn't need a blue lagoon standing by
No month of May, no shining stars
No hidaway, and no soft guitar

My romance doesn't need a castle rising in Spain
Or a dance to a constantly surprising refrain
Wide awake I can make my most fantastic dreams come true
'Cuz my romance it doesn't need a thing but you...

Turn It On Again, KXT!

In case you missed my radio play on KXT the other day, here is my experience of it in my car:

I had submitted my CD, "50 Different Ways" for airplay to KXT a few months ago.  Last week, I emailed them to ask if they had my CD, and asked again for them to please consider playing my song, "Flower on the Wall."  Gini Mascorro who hosts "The Morning Show" wrote me back and told me she had played it. (And I missed it!!!)  But she said she'd be playing it again soon.

So of course, I did nothing but listen to her show all morning the following day, hoping to hear one of my songs on the radio for the first time.  Ever.  On the radio.

I LOVE that she played my song between Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side", and Genesis' "Turn it On Again". 

I love KXT for playing such a wide range of music- including indie music, like mine.  I love Gini for choosing to play my song.  And I love that I have friends who texted and emailed me to let me know they were listening, and wishing me the best.

And their wishes worked.  It was the best!

Usually when I'm sharing my music, it's in a live setting.  And sometimes with that excitement, comes a bundle of nervous energy which sometimes doesn't sit well with me.  So I don't always get to relish in the joy of it like I would prefer.  But on this day, when KXT played my song, all I had to do was listen.  All the joy. None of the nerves.  Just tons and tons of happy emotion.

I know this isn't the biggest deal in the world, and to lots of people, maybe no big deal at all. But to me it was huge.  Thrilling.
 
Hopefully, like the Genesis song that played directly after me says, KXT will think of "Flower on the Wall" soon, and "Turn it on, Turn it on again!"