Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Dreaming the Possible

About a year ago, I performed at Uncle Calvin's. They record all of their shows and so I started bugging them to please send me a copy of that performance. I received it in the mail earlier today. The main reason I was so eager to hear it is because I got SO lucky that night to have met a really talented cellist, Dirgie Smith, who was actually there to accompany Pierce Pettis. After I gushed to her about how much I love the cello, she said she'd play on a song if I wanted her to.

So I asked her if she'd play on one called, "Not Enough Time" which is a love song about my mom and my dad. I can remember when I was performing it that night, feeling so emotional and barely being able to control my voice. So I wanted to hear how it all came out. When I was actually THERE, I sort of had to tune out and remove myself from the scene so I wouldn't start bawling.

But today, I got my chance. When I got to the part of the performance where Dirgie joined me, I sat down on my couch and really, really tuned in this time. And as expected, I was soon crying like a baby. (My dogs, Zoe and Scout, got up from their naps and came over to comfort me as soon as my crying became audible, by the way- I LOVE those girls!) First of all, the song means a lot to me standing on its own. But then to hear that cello come in to the song... And it brings me right to that moment on stage as I heard her- The cello just goes right to my chest. It's beautiful and it's sad and it expresses that song just perfectly.

As for the cracks in my voice brought on by all of the emotion, instead of not liking it or being uncomfortable about it, when I heard the recording today I actually loved it for all of its imperfections and all of its emotion. And I am so proud of myself for pulling it off and actually getting through that song.

That one was by FAR my favorite song of those I performed that night. And I think its because of the cello. It makes me realize how much I want and maybe NEED the cello on some of my new songs that I'm getting ready to record. I've been saying it for a while now. Even before I met Dirgie. And I said it during that performance that its a dream of mine to have a cellist accompany me.

It was so nice to have that recording arrive today. To remind me of one of my dreams. Clearly, not impossible...

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