Creativity Needs Solitude

Let me start saying I love Fermin.  I'm glad we're married, and that I have a partner in life. I love sharing a home with him.  I know I am lucky.

And having said all that: he is going out of town today on a business trip. It's his first trip in a couple of months.  And I am so excited! 

Fermin used to go into the office each day, but didn't travel much.  When he first took his current position, he was supposedly going to travel 50% of the time, and work from home the rest of the time.  I remember feeling a bit sad and anxious that he might be gone so much that I would get lonely.

He traveled more when he first took that job, a few years ago.  But his trips were and are always short, and he's only away a night or two.  He was rarely out of town two weeks in a row, back to back.  It certainly wasn't too much. For the past year or so, his travel is even lighter. There will be stretches of a month or more that he doesn't travel at all. And he works from home pretty much every day, hardly ever going into the office that's about a half hour drive from our home.

It's been a weird adjustment over time.  I went from having all sorts of time at home alone, to now, barely any at all.  Our house is small, and the walls are thin.  I used to sing, write songs, and even occasionally record them when I knew there were no other humans in the house that might overhear me.  But these days, I just can't do it without feeling like I'm being overheard.  I know Fermin is busy, doesn't care about hearing me, etc. but still. It's stifling.

Creatively outside of solitude is hard. First world problems, I realize.  But not having had much of a creative outlet lately has taken it's toll on me.

That's why, I am pretty stoked that I'm about to have the house to myself  for the next several days. If I want to sing all day I can.  If I want to write some songs, I don't have to feel embarrassed as I'm working out the kinks. And there's likely to be nothing but kinks since I'm so out of practice. But here I go...

I need to get a little bored and a little lonesome in my solitude.  It's the best path I know to creativity.