Wednesday, April 24, 2013

MWF Seeking BFF

I had this library book laying around the house for a couple of weeks.  I kept passing over it for others because I wasn't too fond of it's title.
MWF seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche
 But finally, I was running a little low on my choices, so I picked it up night before last.

It's true what they say.  You can't always judge a book by it's cover.  Because in this case, I don't like the title of the book, or the cover art work- but I'm really liking what's inside the book!

It's a memoir.  And automatically, that's a good thing for me.  I love memoirs.  Partly because I like things written in first person.  It's funny.  And it's very relatable,... the quest for finding maybe not a BFF, but a good friend, once you're an adult.  Rachel Bertsche writes of her "yearlong search for a new best friend" after moving to a new city, away from all her close friends, and realizing she really needed some girlfriends that are local.

I don't have an office job, a church or any groups that I belong to.  So although I've got friends, and a few great ones, I understand the wish for having a nice handful of girls  I could call up anytime, to talk about anything or nothing, and not feel weird about it.

Not only does Rachel tell her cute little story about how she went about meeting potential besties, but she sprinkles in little factoids and studies about friendships that get me thinking and sometimes, worrying, about my own situation.  For example, she had read a Self magazine article about the types of friends a woman needs to be happy, and I found it a little disturbing.

It said you need 4 types of friendships-  Here they are:
1.  The acquaintance- Someone you could just chat with if you ran into them at the mall.  You need 10-100 of these.  Ok, I got that.  No prob.
2.  The casual friend- someone you could grab lunch with or go to a movie with.  You need 10- 50 of these, the article suggests.  Uh oh.  I'm starting to feel like I don't even have enough casual friends.
3. The close buddy-  Someone you can tell all your stuff to and you feel totally comfortable around.  You need 5-12 of these.  OH NO.  I've got a few, but nowhere near a half dozen.  I'm not even sure I have 5, if I exclude Ricky and Lucy!
 4. The lifer- An intimate friend that has been in your life so long, they're like family.  And you know they'll always be in your life.  You need 3-5.   I have one absolute lifer.  Not 3-5.

This book is sorta making me question if I have enough friends.  And asking myself, "What is wrong with me?"  I have just a small handful of friends, if I exclude my husband, my brother and sister, and my dogs. 

So maybe I need to go on my own year long quest... But honestly, I don't think I would have enough time for all those friends! 

I'll just enjoy reading about Rachel's quest for a BFF, or just more friends in general in the new city she moved to.  Although I'm always open to making a new friend or two, I feel like I have a pretty full life with my small little circle. 


Melissa Sarno said...

Oh my gosh, I think this book would make me so paranoid about my friendships! haha. I'm pretty sure you're doing well in the friend department. It's the quality not the quantity, right?

Tori said...

Well. I'm sure you are definitely FINE! Thanks for posting this because I feel much better about my friendship quota! lol It really about the QUALITY of the friends not the quantity!! )

Kerri said...

Ok, you both made ME feel better about this! And yes, quality wins- I got friends of the highest quality for sure! :)

Kelly Warren said...

One more vote for it's the quality, not the quantity. By that list of 4 "supposed to haves" I'm a complete failure, but I feel just fine about the friends I have. I'm sure you do too! :-)